On the Bright Side

This is where I tell you what is going o in this brain of mine that I’m pretty sure is crazy.

March 31, 2012

I hate it here. I just want to leave. Being fifteen is such torture. If I could, I’d just drive away and never look back. People wonder why I ant to go so far from here for college. “What if you run out of money?” “What if something bad happens?” “What if there’s a major event at home?” I’m always asked these questions, and the answer is… I don’t care. That is how much I want to get away. I just want to move to California to get away from everything.

April 1, 2012

Ah, April fools day. I was only fooled once today, I was really suprised.

Anywho, my friend, Ryan, told me he was moving to Canada. He was very convincing, too. He told me the floor plan and how he was getting there. He made one mistake though. I asked him, “Ryan, what day are you moving?” To which he responded, “we’re still in talks.”

Silly, Ryan. Why would you buy a house and have plan tickets if you don’t know when you’re actually going to have the keys to the house?

Good try though, I really was upset when I thought you were moving.

April 10, 2012

So, I have this guy friend. He’s also a wild thing called a boy friend. I know, I know. The most awkward person in the world has a boy friend. Lololol, no. He can be so rude and not care about me whatsoever. K.

April 13, 2012

Fake people suck.

That is all.

April 15, 2012

So, let me tell you about this boy I know. I cannot stand his presence and he literally makes me sick to my stomach.

To be quite honest, he never was a good boyfriend. I feel like he was only in it for the physical part, where I just wanted a very strong emotional relationship. Well, that didn’t happen…

Anyway, he knows how mad I am, and you know what? I bet you sometime close to tomorrow he’s going to wake up and wonder why he did this. 

Sucks to suck, bro. I’m gone, and I’m never coming back. 

I ain’t even mad. LOL, joke. I am so mad there is no room for me to be hurt. There will be hell to pay, my friend.

April 19, 2012

I’m eating a cherry pie.

Obviously, I have no friends because I’m telling the world about my cherry pie.

yolo.

April 24, 2012

How can you just act like nothing happened? We both know something did, and when you see me you don’t say anything, you just walk by and make awkward eye contact.

You know, last week I told a five year old boy, Isaac, to never grow up and treat girls terribly. You have me telling five year olds this.

But you know Isaac told me? he said, “why would I ever do that to a girl?” So, this little boy who still thinks that girls have cooties, knows more about how to treat one than you.

I look back, and I blogged things about how terribly you treated me, why couldn’t this have happened when I was mad at you?

Lastly, your teacher told you today how to not break up with a girl. So, I’m assuming she told you all of the things that you did to me. 

May 7, 2012

I’m thinking about taking away my “Step One” tab. I feel childish now. I mean, it was great to start, but it’s been almost a month.

Oh my, it’s almost been a month. Wow. That just flew by. Like, really fast. I didn’t expect it to be here so soon.

Okay, I am taking it down. I’m bigger than you, so I’m going to make things right. Now, that does not mean apologize or try to be friends, it means I’m going to walk into St. Mary’s this September with an open mind.

That doesn’t mean I still won’t do everything in my power to make you regret leaving me though ;)

May 11, 2012

Two things.

One, the people I babysit for are leaving for Disney World and the Bahama’s today. Y U NO TAKE ME WITH YOU?!?!?!

Two, my body just loves to make me sick on the weekends. I apologize in advance for blowing up your dashes this weekend. 

May 17, 2012

I like being the person people come to with things. It makes me feel like if I can’t help myself at least I can help other people.

And I’d rather help someone before myself any day.

May 22, 2012

I find it to be really awkward, the posts about boys. Because half of them relate to the boy I like and the other half relate to Darren Criss.

yolo.

May 30, 2012

Sometimes I wonder. I wonder if things would be different if you came babysitting with me that one day.

I wish I could go back and just see how things would have ended if that happened. Only, I can’t. So I’ll just have to realize I have bigger dreams and try my hardest to forget it.

June 1, 2012

Yes, because I totally want to be this way, so I make it up.

Finally someone understands.

June 3, 2012

You know, I don’t care how much older you are or if you’re looking for a relationship or not.

I like you, okay? I can’t help it that you are just so adorable and cute and would want to be that one cute couple everyone likes.

I would very much so like to be the other half to that couple, but no. You don’t like me because I’m awkward and stuff.

Anyways, if you ever think about me, just text me or something. I swear if we talked more you’d see I’m not as weird as everyone thinks (okay, yes I am, but it’s cute!)

So, just give me a chance? 

June 6, 2012

Okay, I thought I might have actually succeeded at being over you, and I was so proud of myself for it. Then I make the dumb mistake of getting on Facebook. While I was scrolling through m home page did I ever expect to see a photo album with your name in the title? and picture of you everywhere? Nope, no I did not.

Now between the first paragraph and now I’ve done some thinking. And looking over the paragraph above, I don’t understand why I missed you so much. All I had to think about was how you told a girl that nobody liked her. No. You do not do that to a person.

And that is why I’ve actually gotten over you. So I guess I should say thanks. Thank you for being a total dick to everyone. It has really helped me. :)

June 10, 2012

You let them put make up on you. I think I’m glad we broke up… Like, really glad

June 16, 2012

I change the guys I like extremely fast, but I think you’re here to stay. I hope you’re here to stay.

Please, be here to stay.

June 17, 2012

I always get mad whenever I do this early in the morning and then I have thoughts later and want to put it in here, too.

But, I like you a lot, so I’m going to blog about it at 1 in the morning.

You’re cute, awkward, smart,funny, and ugh. If you had texting, I swear, I’d talk to you all day. 

So get texting sometime soon, because I’d love to talk to you all day.

June 18, 2012

And there I go again, messing things up.

I need to learn to keep my weirdness within me.

June 23, 2012

Happy birthday, Karissa!

Okay, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way. I’m going on vacation on Friday (don’t worry, i will have wifi) and I’m really excited, I really am. But, I don’t know, I have a bad feeling about this year, a very bad feeling, and that scares me.

It’s probably just my nerves getting to me. I can never have anything go right in my head. Nothing ever goes right in my head. 

July 2, 2012

So I met this boy. I know, a wild boy. His name’s Destin. It’s different , right? Right. Well, we talked last night for like three hours, and it was amazing. Like, really amazing. Then we talked again tonight. Only there was this girl who he was oh so interested in. And when she left, he was interested in me.

It doesn’t matter, anyway. He’s leaving at five in the morning tomorrow and I’ll never see him again. Unless, him and his family come down next year, which they might. 

… The same year my family wants to switch resorts after 27 years..

It sucks the most because when I was talking to him, I noticed that he’s the only guy that I have actually really liked since Noah. And it was really nice. Ha, but he’s gone. Because no boys stick around long enough to actually get to know me.

Oh well, better luck next time.

July 29, 2012

I am a big stressed out mess. I have no idea what to do about anything. 

Ugh.

August 7, 2012

24.

August 15, 2012

You know, sometimes life can be really, really unfair. 

And it really, really sucks.

August 22, 2012

Okay, I have it all figured out.

We’re just going to end up like Tara and Ethan, well not entirely. We’re going to start as them and end up like Tara and Ben (because Ben’s more adorable.)

August 26, 2012

Okay, really? Stop. I did nothing to you.

September 23, 2012

“If” is my new favorite word.

October 26, 2012

I am so sorry I’ve been neglecting you! Don’t worry, I still love you, though :) Anyway, I’ve been considering adding a “My Face” tab. I don’t know, I just ramble sometimes. Like now.

October 26, 2012 6:34 PM

I’m sorry, I just had to post twice today. I am so angry. I change my plans to hang out with you and then like 20 minutes before I leave you’re like “whoops, you might not be able to come over.” Really?

I thought you were better than that.

October 29, 2012

I really have no idea how to feel about this. Like, I know that we’ve only been talking for roughly a week, but if you’re actually gone, I miss you so much. I’m just hoping that you just got off the computer to think for awhile and you’re going to get back on and say you called it off.

Please get back on and say you called it off.

November 4, 2012

THIS COULD BE WHAT I WAS WAITING FOR, GUYS. OH MAN, OH MAN.

November 12, 2012

Do you want to know a secret? Yes, I am clingy. 

If you start to get remotely close to me, you will soon find that out. And I try not to be, I really do. I just am, and I know why I am.

No one has stayed in my life for more than two years without leaving, so anytime I get close to someone I try to get as close as possible so I have something to look back on when they leave. So, yes I am a very clingy person.

And I hate it so much when people tell me I’m too clingy because then it tells me that I’m annoying them like I think I all ready am. I don’t want to annoy you, I swear. It’s just part of my personality, which is why no one stays for very long.

This is just me apologizing.

I’m sorry I’m so clingy.

I’m sorry I’m so annoying.

November 30, 2012

So there’s this really cute couple that I know. And I just want to have a relationship like their’s, because I love it so much.

Okay.

December 15, 2012

So I have an 83% gut feeling that you’re lying.

December 16, 2012

I started writing this before it was the 16th. Judge me.

Anyway, I’ve been thinking and the idea of ‘love’ is like, so weird. Like, what? Who the hell would love me? Like, I live on the internet, eat too much and over use the word like, because I can.

I mean, how? Please tell me? And I bet I look like an idiot writing this because I’m just making this face about how shocked I am. Because, well, it’s how I feel.

Don’t get me wrong I believe in love and all that jazz and I will keep reblogging all of these cute posts. It’s just, ugh.

Love confuses me.

Oh, and I have a really hard time talking about my feelings. Which is funny, because I have so many.

But idk. That’s just me.

February 28, 2013

I’VE BEEN GONE FOR SO LONG. I’M SO, SO SORRY.

We moved and I don’t really have internets where I am, so it’s been rough, guys. Anyways, this tab is basically for me to just talk about the boys I like so here we go.

Guys, he is so freaking cute, you have no idea. Like, I can’t even. I don’t know, I just really don’t.

And that’s honestly all I can say, because I have this habit of talking to a boy for a week and then just stopping. I don’t know why, but it’s what I do because I’m a dumb face.

It’ll be a week tomorrow, and I really don’t know how to feel about that because I don’t know.

I told myself I wouldn’t text him first today and I am trying so hard to keep my word, but it’s difficult. I really, really want to talk to him, but I can’t always be the first one to start the conversation, because then I never really know if he wants to talk to me. 

He’s in church now, and he gets out at around nine, so we’ll see where things go and I’ll keep you posted. (even though Emily is probably the only one who reads this and I text her everything anyways)